The 8 Miles

Its been almost a year since I have started working out with a personal trainer. In October of 2009, I made an agreement with my trainer, saying that I would walk/run a 20k in Des Moines in June. In all of my training I have worked so very hard. I have my days where I don't want to go to the gym or I would rather sit on my bottom than walk for two hours. When I have those days there are two things that keep me going, music and the thought of how good it is going to feel to cross the finish line.

For the past two weeks when I complete my long walk, I end at 7 miles. Mentally, I want so badly to make it to 8 miles. But, I am also afraid that once I hit the 8th mile there are just 4.4 miles to go. At mile 8 my dream of completing the 20k is just 4.4 miles away. In just 4.4 more miles I can do something that I once thought I could never do.

In all this talk about 8 miles, I bet you can guess what song keeps me going on my music player. Yep, you guessed it, "Lose Yourself” by Eminem. With music and my dream of crossing the finish line, I lose myself in my walk. That time on the treadmill is about me. Not about me getting fit for some external reason, but me checking in with myself. Thinking about my body, and how to push myself without pushing too hard. How do I accomplish everything that I am capable of in this hour or two hour walk? I am still learning about my body and what I can do, but I know this: training for this 20k is about me working out the kinks in my own mind (and body) before that big day.

What are those kinks? One kink is that voice in the back of my head telling me that I will never make it. Also the personal belief that because my body looks differently than many of the people I see working out, that I don’t deserve to have my spot on the treadmill or track. Whatever I might tell myself that might keep me from completing this event, I have exactly 12 weeks and two days to overcome or manage it. Working out these kinks is why I decided to write this blog. Completing the 20k will be a milestone for me, but training and writing is a part of remembering the journey.